Wrapping Up 2014: Top 5 Worst Films of the Year- with a Special Guest Writer
With the year 2014 ending, I thought I would take some time to reflect on this past year of film and even look towards the future at what lies ahead. From the best films of the year to the God-awful bombs we all want to forget, this has been an interesting year for movies. Some of our most anticipated films have met our expectations, exceeded them or have fallen short. So as we approach the next year which will, hopefully, hold an even better year for film, let's think about and remember the best parts of 2014.
In this article, we will be looking back on the Worst Films of the Year. For this article, we will have a special guest writer. The following was recorded as a conversation and then transcribed to the blog. This is something we haven't done before, but hope to continue to do in the future so please bare with us for this and leave any comments/criticism about the format in the comments below.
Nate: Today, we have Rob back as our special guest writer.
Nate: So, we did our top 10 favorite movies of the year and now it's time to get to the movies that made us want to shoot ourselves.
Nate: That's not constipation...
Rob: (fart noise)
Nate: Okay, maybe it is. (laughs) Alright, let's get to our worst of the year. These were the stink bombs.
Rob: The stoinkfest.
Nate: These were the movies that clogged our toilets as well as our hearts.
Rob: (laughs) These are the movies that wanted us to kill ourselves. Literally.
Nate: They pretty much gave us the gun. (laughs)
Nate: Keep in mind, this is something I want to point out before we get started, we were smart enough to avoid Transformers: Age of Extinction.
Nate: There were some idiots who went out there thinking "This is going to be the greatest movie I have ever seen"
Rob: I was invited to go see Transformers and I declined.
Nate: You never decline!
Rob: I declined.
Nate: His girlfriend invited him to see this movie and he declined.
Rob: Because it was Transformers.
Nate: I actually know a guy who saw that movie and thought it was good.
Rob: He must be stupid!
Nate: So if we had seen Transformers, it probably would have been number one, or fairly high on our list. But we didn't, because we were actually intelligent.
Rob: We didn't want to waste our money.
Nate: But we did waste our money on some of these other movies! (laughs)
Nate: So I'll start it off. Now, I didn't do an official list. I just have four movies that were just terrible movies that I saw this year.
Nate: Sabotage. We'll both get into pretty much murdering this later in the article.
Nate: But let me just say, I like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I like the Terminator movies. I like True Lies. I like him. He's a fun, action hero. But he was. He was an action hero and I learned that the hard way through Sabotage. When we went to go see Sabotage, I thought I was just going to go in there and see Arnold Schwarzenegger kick some ass, just sit back and eat some candy that I sneaked into the theater.
Rob: (laughs) Ooh!
Nate: I was a bigger badass than Arnold Schwarzenegger was in this movie! (laughs) I thought the movie was going to be fun and then it turned out to be... I think it was the worst movie I saw this year. But we'll get into grilling that movie later.
Nate: Maleficent. I didn't think this movie was going to be that good and sometimes, when you have low expectations for a movie, it surpasses it. This didn't. It didn't even meet my low expectations. It was just a bad movie. A lot of people who didn't like the movie thought Angelina Jolie was good in it, I didn't even think she was that good. It was just a bad movie. It tried to be inventive and it said it was going to tell a different story. We've learned the hard way that anytime a movie says it's going to be the "untold story", it's not. It's the same sh*t again. (laughs) And that's pretty much what Maleficent was.
Nate: Then, Transcendence. I was really looking forward to this movie because it sounded like a cool plot. It had a really good cast with Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy, Morgan Freeman. It was Wally Pfister's directorial debut and he was an Oscar winning DP for Christopher Nolan.
Rob: He won an Oscar?
Rob: For what movie?
Nate: Inception, I think. (Editor's Note: He did win for Inception)
Nate: So he was an Oscar winning DP. He had learned from a fantastic director in Christopher Nolan and Nolan was producing it and so I thought this could be a really good movie. It was not. It just wasn't. It made some really bad basic screenwriting mistakes. I'm an aspiring screenwriter and I know not to do some of these things. You just don't set up characters and then halfway through the movie jump ten years. You don't show... you can show the ending of a movie at the beginning and do it well, but not to the point where it reveals everything that happens in the movie and ruins the suspense. There were just some really bad, basic screenwriting mistakes that you just don't make in a professional, big budget movie. So Transcendence was on that list.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Nate: Of course, The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I love Spider-Man. I grew up reading reading all the comics. I grew up on the Sam Raimi movies. The Amazing Spider-Man in 2012- it was good, wasn't great. But the trailers made (The Amazing Spider-Man 2) look as if it could have been redemption. It looked as if it could have taken Spider-Man to the next level. And it did take it to the next level on the crap meter. It was just an awful movie, but we'll get into that later.
Nate: So I'll just turn it over to Rob.
Rob: Alright. I had two honorable mentions. The Purge: Anarchy. I had no expectations for this. The first Purge I thought was just bad and I went into this movie... the one redeeming quality was Frank Grillo. I think he's a pretty good action star and I think he has a future as one of those. But this movie- it was just so stupid. And my other (honorable mention) was Dumb and Dumber To. I love the first Dumb and Dumber. It was really funny. But this one, it just literally took all the same jokes and tried to do them today. It just didn't work that well for me. I did laugh but they were laughs out of respect for what it was trying to do. But... it was alright.
Rob: At the number five spot, I have Hercules. Me and Nate saw this together.
Rob: The only reason this movie wasn't God-awful was because it starred the Rock. Watching him with the lion head on and yelling stuff and running around.
Nate: I heard Andy Serkis did the motion capture for the lion head.
Nate: He might get snubbed though.
Rob: Anyways. The whole story I thought was just kind of stupid and no one else was memorable from the movie so that's why it's at number five.
#4- Planes: Fire & Rescue
Rob: At number four was Planes: Fire & Rescue.
Nate: What?? That was my number one favorite of the year!
Rob: (laughs) That was just garbage. I don't know what the hell was even going on! How does a plane... it was just stupid! It's Disney just throwing out crap just to make a few bucks! Seriously? Why wasn't direct to home video?
Nate: "How does a plane" what? I want to know what you were going to say.
Rob: He... I don't even remember! He got water and dumped on the fields or something, I think. It was just so bad! I don't care! There's nothing that was good! There were no jokes that I laughed at! There was a truck that went up to another car and said a pick-up line and the other car was like "Ah. Pick-up trucks."
Nate: That was in the trailer. I thought it was clever.
Rob: Clever? Oh, okay...! (laughs) Just don't go see this movie. I haven't seen the first one but I don't think that's good either.
#3- Let's Be Cops
Rob: At number three, I have Let's Be Cops. I was really excited about seeing this. I know you thought the trailers were good, right?
Nate: Yeah, I thought the trailers were really good.
Rob: I thought this movie looked hilarious but then the ratings came out and it was about 12%.
Nate: On Rotten Tomatoes?
Rob: Yeah. But I was still forced to go see it and, I don't know, the jokes... it was just so stupid. I mean, none of the jokes really hit for me. I really like Jake Johnson. I thought he was pretty good in the movie, but nothing really else about it. The guy from Key & Peele was in it.
Nate: Well which one? Key or Peele?
Rob: The tall one.
Nate: Keegan-Michael Key, I think.
Rob: Yeah. He was pretty good but overall that movie was just bad.
Rob: At number two, Sabotage. Dude, that movie blew. That movie sucked! It sucks so bad. It was so bad! You've got lines in it like "Some of us are getting paid and some of us are getting dead". You've got two security guards arguing on whether the other guy's... male genitalia...
Rob: ...would fit in the tip of a water bottle so he can go to the bathroom.
Nate: "Male genitalia" (laughs)
Rob: I don't know what I can say or not. (laughs) Arnold Schwarzenegger was alright, I guess, in the movie but...
Nate: Terrance Howard gave an Oscar worthy performance with his line "Okay, it's time for a complete 180°" (laugh)
Rob: And... who was it? I don't know what the girl's name is (Editor's note: It's Mireille Enos), she was in World War Z... what the hell was she doing? Awful! Awful!
Nate: Wasn't she obsessed with cocaine or something?
Rob: Yeah! Remember, she was like "Liquid meth!"
Nate: Oh, that's right!
Rob: But this was my favorite Sam Worthington performance just because he ended up... sorry, spoiler alert but you shouldn't see this movie anyways... but ends up dead, chopped up in a refrigerator.
Nate: You don't like Sam Worthington?
Rob: I hate him. He's awful!
Nate: What about Avatar?
Rob: I didn't like him in that. I think that's the most overrated movie of all time, but that's another story. Okay, I'm done with Sabotage.
#1- The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Rob: At number one is The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I had so many expectations for this. Like Nate said, I love Spider-Man. The first comic book movie I ever saw were the (Sam Raimi) Spider-Man movies. I remember seeing them with my whole family and we all enjoyed them, they were all great. And I thought The Amazing Spider-Man was a good movie.
Nate: Well, you fell asleep in the theater. (laugh)
Rob: Whatever. It was good. It was good. This movie... just the villains. Electro, honestly I think is one of the worst villains I've seen on screen. "Happy birthday to me, Spider-Man!"
Rob: Just awful. And the music...
Nate: Well, let's just go back to Electro for a moment. They get an Oscar winning actor in Jamie Foxx and they make... Oh my God, I can't even talk about it. Electro in the comics is such a cool character and they could have done so many cool things but they just made him so stupid.
Rob: I think if they took Electro and the freaking Rhino out of that movie, it could have been a good movie. If you just went on the development of how Harry Osborn was friends with Peter and he could have slowly drifted throughout the movie and became the Green Goblin. It could've been a good movie but no, they just had shove everything in there! Like, how many Easter Eggs did they try to shove in there?
Nate: I don't even know. That movie was pretty much just setting up a Sinister Six movie that we might not even get!
Rob: Yeah, cause it sucked so bad! And another thing, that scene when he goes into the subway, I thought, what the hell?? It was so stupid! There's no way that could have happened! A hidden subway that no one knows about? That you have to put in a key and go through a tunnel or whatever?
Nate: Think about it. It took that special token to get into there but he hid the tokens in a calculator... they looked like real subway tokens!
Nate: What'd he think was going to happen? Someone looks at it and says "Oh, you've got those tokens? You must have a secret cart in the subway!"
Rob: (laughs) Hans Zimmer did the music for that, right?
Rob: That was awful!
Nate: Hans Zimmer is probably one of my favorite composers working today.
Rob: Is he Oscar winning?
Nate: He's been nominated. (Editor's Note: He was nominated eight times, won once)
Rob: He's pretty good.
Nate: The music was just so bad!
Rob: It was bad. With Phillip Phillips...
Nate: And it wasn't just that it didn't work, it was bad.
Rob: Maybe it could have fit for something else, but it did not fit with that and I don't know any other movies it would've fit with.
Nate: It was all techno.
Rob: The "Itsy Bitsy Spider" thing. That was bad.
Nate: But I will say, probably, Dane DeHaan in this movie, I think he gave us the best Green Goblin we've seen.
Rob: Yeah, it'll be good if they can continue him. And Emma Stone was really good in the movie.
Nate: I felt like... spoiler alert, but...
Rob: She died. (laughs)
Nate: She died, but I thought that scene was really well done.
Rob: Yeah, I agree.
Nate: So those are our 5 worst films of the year. You can see our other Wrapping Up 2014 articles on the blog. I want to thank Rob for helping me out.
Rob: No problem. Any time.
Nate: Everyone take care.
What do you think of our worst five lists? Did you like our special guest? What did you think of this new format? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
Written by: Nate and Rob
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