Rob's List of F*cking Kick Ass Weird Films You May or May Not Know About, Bitches


Yo, it's Rob. I'm a friend of the main writer, Nate, and I'm an occasional guest writer on this site. You can check out my other collaborations with The Movie Paradise here. Let's cut down to the sh*t. I love weird movies nobody is talking about, and I would like to give them their due. I got eight to talk about, but if I think of anything else, I'll let you bitches know. By the way, I'm defining a weird movie as something nobody has really heard of, has strange trailers, and just are overall dope looking movies. Before we get started, I've got a little joke for you guys. Why do seagulls fly by the sea? Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels. Tell that to a girl on a first date and she'll flood the restaurant. Okay, let's get this sh*t show started. **Note: All plot descriptions are from IMDb.com**

#8 Mute


Directed by: Duncan Jones (Moon)
Starring: Alexander Skarsgård (The Legend of Tarzan), Justin Theroux (The Girl on the Train), Paul Rudd (Ant-Man)
Plot: A mute bartender goes up against his city's gangsters in an effort to find out what happened to his missing partner. 
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Well, to be honest, the plot doesn't intrigue me as much as other movies on this list. However, Duncan Jones is a fantastic director, in my opinion. I think he took the criticism he got for Warcraft, and he'll return to his roots and make a film more along the lines of Moon and Source Code. It's also rumored that this movie takes place in the same universe as those other movies, so that makes me excited too. With a proven cast and an experienced director, look out for this original science fiction film!
Release Date: TBD (Netflix Release)

#7 Hold the Dark


Directed byJeremy Saulneir (Green Room)
Starring: Alexander Skarsgård (The Legend of Tarzan), Riley Keough (American Honey), Jeffrey Wright (Casino Royale), James Badge Dale (13 Hours)
Plot: A wolf hunter tracks down a young child in the Alaskan wilderness.
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Mainly because of the director. Since there isn't a lot of details about it yet, I'm going off of how Saulneir directed Green Room. I'm inclined to believe that this movie will be gripping and exciting. Also, all four of the main actors in this film always give awesome performances in everything they do, but are very underrated. 
Release Date: TBD (Netflix Release)

#6 The Beguiled


Directed by: Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation)
Starring: Colin Farrell (The Lobster), Kirsten Dunst (Hidden Figures), Nicole Kidman (Lion), Elle Fanning (The Neon Demon), Angourie Rice (The Nice Guys), Oona Laurence (Southpaw)
Plot: At a girls' school in Virginia during the Civil War, where the young women have been sheltered from the outside world, a wounded Union soldier is taken in. Soon, the house is taken over with sexual tension, rivalries, and an unexpected turn of events. 
Why I'm F*cking Excited: First of all, I'm all for watching women fight over a man and trying to seduce him (I'm totally jealous of Farrell; Nicole Kidman is a total MILF). The original movie that came out in 1971 that starred Clint Eastwood (same title) has the plot description of the women using him as a non-stop sex machine. So, in other words, I'm in. Plus, we get to see three up-and-coming superstar actresses in Fanning, Rice, and Laurence shine on screen. Colin Farrell was also in The Lobster, which was one of my favorite movies of last year. So at this point, I'll buy whatever he puts out next.
Release Date: June 23rd

#5 The Bad Batch


Directed byAna Lily Amirpour (A Girl Walks Alone at Night)
StarringSuki Waterhouse (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies), Jason Momoa (Aquaman), Keanu Reeves (John Wick), Giovanni Ribisi (Ted), Diego Luna (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story), Jim Carey (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
Plot: A dystopian love story in a Texas wasteland, and set in a community of cannibals.
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Cannibals are f*cking sick dude, that's why. Who doesn't love someone getting chewed to pieces?! Also, when you have a cast with actors who usually star in big films starring in a smaller indie film, you can learn to really appreciate their acting. The only thing I'm nervous about is Waterhouse, because I've only seen her in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and... ummm... let's just say that there were barely any zombies in it, but rather more cringe-worthy dialogue. 
Release Date: June 23rd (same day as The Beguiled. Double feature Nate?? [Editor's Note: Yes.])

#4 Colossal


Directed by: Nacho Vigalondo (Open Windows)
Starring: Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada), Jason Sudeikis (We're the Millers), Tim Blake Nelson (The Incredible Hulk), Dan Stevens (The Guest)
Plot: A woman discovers that severe catastrophic events are somehow connected to the mental breakdown from which she's suffering.
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Umm... giant monster movies, but in more of an indie way... love it! It's also good to see Anne Hathaway doing something more light-hearted, but still with some drama. With the second trailer that came out last week, we're seeing that they are not trying to market this as something it's not, and that makes me feel more comfortable going in. There is a risk for people thinking it's a monster movie, but the trailers show that this is a character piece about someone's actions not only affecting her, but the people around her. Plus, Jason Sudeikis is underrated when it comes to dramas. Watch Sleeping With Other People for proof.
Release Date: April 7th

#3 The Discovery


Directed byCharlie McDowel (The One I Love)
StarringJason Segal (The Muppets), Rooney Mara (Lion), Jesse Plemons (Black Mass), Riley Keough (American Honey), Robert Redford (Pete's Dragon)
Plot: A love story set one year after the existence of the afterlife is scientifically verified. 
Why I'm F*cking Excited: So you're telling me that there is an afterlife, and I shouldn't just end it all?? Well, you're going to have to do a hell of a lot of persuading, Jason Segal. I feel like this movie is going to present multiple themes between love and science fiction, and will leave you questioning what you would do. The fact that Jason Segal is the lead man for this movie might turn some people off, because he's mostly a comedy guy. But if you watch him in The End of the Tour, I'm sure that you'll change your mind. Plus Riley Keough continues to pepper herself into great and interest projects, and who doesn't want to see one of Robert Redford's last films before he's officially retired?
Release Date: March 31st (Netflix Release)

#2 It Comes at Night


Directed by: Trey Edwards Shults (Krisha)
StarringJoel Edgerton (The Gift), Riley Keough (American Honey), Christopher Abott (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot), Carmen Ejogo (Selma)
Plot: Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son, but this will soon be put to the test when a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge. 
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Last year, A24 released two great horror thriller movies with The Witch and Green Room, so I trust the studio to release another gem with this film. You give us a creepy trailer with some disturbing imagery, you give us Gordo the Weirdo and Riley Keough again (who is my pick for the breakout star of 2017), and we've got a hit on our hands! Shout out to whoever cut the trailer for revealing really nothing about what the movies' about. Oh, and ladies: it may come at night, but I come all day! You can hit me up on Facebook. 
Release Date: June 9th

#1 Get Out


Directed byJordan Peele (Keanu)
Starring: Daniel Kaluuya (Sicario), Alison Williams (Girls), Bradley Whitford (Cabin in the Woods), Catherine Keener (The 40 Year Old Virgin), Caleb Landry Jones (X-Men: First Class), Lakeith Stanfield (Straight Outta Compton), Stephen Root (Office Space)
Plot: A young, African-American man visits his Caucasian girlfriend's mysterious family estate.
Why I'm F*cking Excited: Well, this is my number one pick for good reasons. First of all, it has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes with 28 reviews so far. Also, that trailer dude. It looks like we're going to have a movie where you're sitting on the edge of your seat with anticipation and fear, just wanting to take a breath! I'm not the biggest fan of Jordan Peele as an actor, but maybe he can really shine as a director. Everything I'm hearing from this movie is that it's fantastic, and meets the high expectations set by the trailer. With such a fantastic cast, look for this movie to make a lot of money, and to end up on a lot of people's Top 10s by the end of the year. Also, I'm seeing it early, so haha bitches!
Release Date: February 24th


What do you think? Do you agree with my picks for the list? Are there any films you would have added? Are there films you would've taken off? What film are you most excited for that not many people are talking about? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. 

Written by: Rob
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