Top 3 Worst Movies of the Year (So Far)- With a Special Guest Writer


The following article is the transcript of a previously recorded exchange between main writer Nate and special guest writer Rob, as they talk about their top three worst movies of 2017 so far. This was recorded on Sunday, July 16th. 

Nate: Hello, and welcome to The Movie Paradise. My name is Nate. I'm the main writer here. And I am joined today by our guest writer, Rob. 
Rob: 'sup bitches?
Nate: So we're doing our top three worst movies of the year. We're at about the midway point of the year. We've had some excellent movies, and we've had some pretty sh*tty movies. We already talked about what our favorite movies of year so far were. You can go check that out here. But now we're getting into the sh*tbags of the year. The ones that really just f*cking sucked this year so far. 
Rob: Just absolutely smell. 
Nate: So how this is going to work is we're going to start by doing two honorable mentions, or dishonorable mentions rather. Then I'll do my #3 and #2, then Rob will do his #3 and #2. Then we'll say what your #1 of the year is. I think, whereas our top five was pretty much the same movies, I think we have some very different movies on our worst lists. 
Rob: I saw a lot more sh*tbombs than you did. 
Nate: Yep. Rob will see any sh*t Hollywood churns out. Me, I'm a little more selective. And just as a preface, I did not see Transformers: The Last Knight. So that's why it's completely off my list. It's not that I loved it, and thought it was the greatest movie of all time. I didn't bother seeing it. 
Rob: Don't lie to your viewers. 

Nate's (Dis)Honorable Mentions


Nate: My two dishonorable mentions... the first one, well, actually, let's first start with the one that, if this was actually a list out of five, this would be number five. And this one has a little explaining to do, because I know you actually really liked this movie. It Comes at Night. I wouldn't say I hated it. I wouldn't say the film itself is a bad movie. What I would say is that, while I think all the visual elements-- the cinematography, the way it's editing-- all these visual elements show that Trey Edwards Shultz can be a competent director. Where I think the problem comes from for this movie is the writing. The problem with It Comes at Night, and I won't get into spoilers or anything, and I said a lot of this in my review, is that I think it tries to be one of those movies that withholds information from the audience, but it doesn't give you enough information for that to be fun. It keeps pretty much everything about the movie in the dark, so that you have pretty much nothing as a tangible base for you to speculate off of. [In my review] I made the comparison to Inception. In Inception, you don't have a lot of things spelled out for you. You don't know for sure certain elements of the movie, which you can then speculate about. And that's what's fun about that movie. But with Inception, it has a ground level base of what is true, so that you can then speculate from that. With It Comes at Night, it doesn't explain anything, so you don't even know from the basic level what's true, so that you can then speculate off of that. It pretty much keeps everything in the dark, to the point where you don't even know what the hell is going on, and you can't tell where [Shultz] is going with it. Shultz said he purposely did that so that people could form their opinion about what happens in the film, but I don't even know what's true so that I can then form an opinion of what happened. I think it was a great idea, and I think it was a great experiment, and I give A24 a lot of credit for making this experimental film, but I think as an experiment it kind of failed. I'll let you rebut, because I know you really liked the movie.
Rob: Well, what I liked about it was that... first of all, you watched most of the trailers, correct?
Nate: Uh, I saw two trailers. 
Rob: I saw the first teaser trailer where it's just the red door really, and I didn't want to see anything else. So I went into the movie [without having seen the other trailers] not really expecting anything. I ended up enjoying just the realism the movie presented. I felt like I was one of the characters, and I didn't know what was going on, and you just had to go along for the ride. I agree there wasn't much pay-off, but I still enjoyed the experience. I enjoyed the whole story around it, and the tension it built up. 
Nate: Yeah, like I said before, I think the directorial elements of it, the direction of it, and what Shultz did with that, was really good. I think he proved he can be a very good director. Where I think the problem comes from is his script that he wrote, and I don't think it was good enough of a script to really go in the direction he wanted. He was trying to make this like a David Fincher or a Christopher Nolan movie, where all these things are happening but you're not sure exactly what is going on and you're speculating, but I don't think it was adeptly written to the point where it could be on that level that he wanted it to be. I don't think it worked. 
Rob: Also, I watched the trailers after seeing the movie. Those additional trailers really did sell the movie as something else than what it really was. I don't want to spoil what it was or whatever, but there were some scenes that were kind of taken out of context. I don't know if you know what I'm saying. 
Nate: Yeah, no I do.
Rob: Okay.
Nate: So I think that's the biggest debate of this list. Maybe my number one you'll have some thoughts. [Read our review for It Comes at Night here]


Nate: So, anyways, my second dishonorable mention is Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Rob: Booo!!
Nate: I'm not a huge Pirates fan. I like the first one a lot. Two was boring. I don't think I even saw three or four. I went into this one thinking it could be different, especially because of Javier Bardem. I thought this could be a different movie, and I thought this could be really good. And it's just kind of the same sh*t. At this point, Johnny Depp just gets on my nerves as Jack Sparrow. It's not fresh anymore. It's not cool anymore. It's just him being this wacky character, and I don't care anymore. It was to the point where, whenever he was on screen, I was thinking "Get him the f*ck off the screen!", because he was annoying me so much. Javier Bardem... he's cheesy in the movie, but that's kind of what the movie calls him to be, so I don't really blame him. I was expecting a little more of a terrifying villain, just because I know what he can do as an actor. But, you know, he hams it up. But that's what the movie calls for him to be. The visual effects are great looking, the set pieces look great, and I liked the two new main characters they brought in, the guy and the girl, I thought they did a good job. But it's more of the same. It's more jokes that, for the most part, didn't land. The action wasn't really watchable. I was just bored. At one point I almost fell asleep. At one point I actually did fall asleep for a couple minutes, but then I woke up. It was just boring, and I didn't care for it. I'm not going to see any more Pirates movies. Anyways, I'll let you rebut that one too.
Rob: I kind of went in not expecting anything...
Nate: I expected a good movie! I expected to be entertained! And it didn't do that for me. 
Rob: I know, for me, it wasn't one of the best of the year or anything, but it was fun enough. I wouldn't say I was high on the movie or anything, but I will admit I did enjoy myself watching it. I didn't find Johnny Depp as annoying as you did. 
Nate: I just think that, after five movies, the shtick isn't funny anymore. If they were doing new things with the character, and developing him, then it would be better, but he's still the same exact person in this one that he was five movies ago. So, at this point, it's not interesting anymore, and it's not funny anymore. You know what I'm saying?
Rob: I agree he should stop.
Nate: Yeah, or take the character in a new direction. Do something different with him, so he becomes more interesting. But just doing the exact same thing, for five movies, just isn't getting them anymore. But hopefully... this movie is not nearly as successful [at the box office] as the other movies, so hopefully they learn a lesson that they should do something different. [Read our review for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales here]

Nate: So, who know. Rob, what are your dishonorable mentions? 

Rob's (Dis)Honorable Mentions


Rob: Okay, first one I'm going to talk about is The Great Wall. I went into this movie not expecting anything, and that's exactly what I got. It was bad CGI. The story was all over the place. It didn't make sense why Matt Damon was there. Like they tried to shoehorn his story in there, but it didn't really make sense. 
Nate: They didn't feel like they could get an Asian actor to lead it, so they wanted a white guy, is essentially what happened.
Rob: Exactly. All the acting was terrible, and the dialogue was pretty horrendous. I just really couldn't sit through it. 


Rob: My next one is one we saw together. It's part of this thing where all these studios are releasing bad comedies that nobody wants, and nobody's going to see them. And that's Fist Fight. Was it a bad movie? No, not the worst one I've ever seen. But was it a good comedy? No! Did I laugh a lot? Not really. I laughed a lot maybe the first ten minutes, but then it got really slow. The story made absolutely no sense. The ending was cool, how we actually got to see the fist fight. I enjoyed that part, but other than that it was just hard to sit through.
Nate: I'll defend Fist Fight, just a little bit. It's nowhere near like a top five or anything like that. But I personally wouldn't have put it on a worst list, just because I found... the fist fight at the end I found to be incredibly entertaining. I thought that was awesome, actually. I thought there were some really funny scenes, like the whole... do you remember the talent show scene with Charlie Day and his daughter? 
Rob: Yeah, that wasn't bad.
Nate: So, there are really good scenes in there, and a lot of great jokes. And I think... I like Charlie Day a lot because I'm a big It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia fan. And I love Ice Cube. Was the movie as good as it could've been? No, it wasn't. But I, personally, don't think it was one of the worst of the year. So, that's just my two cents on that. [Read our review for Fist Fight here]

Nate: So I'll do my #3 and #2, then you'll do your #3 and #2, and then we'll both do our #1s. 

Nate's #3-2

#3 The Beguiled


Nate: So my number three is a movie that I haven't even had time to write a review for yet, and I saw it like two weeks ago [we've since posted our review, which you can read here]. It's The Beguiled. The thing about this movie is that I think it's another thing like It Comes at Night, where the marketing presented it as something completely different than I think it really was. When I saw the trailers, I thought going to turn into... not exactly horror, but a little more supernatural/horror. When I saw the trailers, it was presented to me as Colin Farrell, a Union soldier, is stuck at this Confederate school of all women, and something is going to happen. Something's up with them. You know, maybe something a little more supernatural, and they're going to do something to him. And that I thought that was the direction it was going to go in. But what ultimately happened was really nothing. It was slow, and I don't mind slow as long as it leads to something and pays off, but the pay-off didn't do anything for me. I just didn't care for the movie. I found myself looking around the theater for most of it, waiting for it to end. It was only an hour and a half, but it felt a lot longer. It felt more like two and a half hours. It did not do it for me. 
Rob: I'd say I liked the movie. I just thought the trailer pretty much gave away the whole story.
Nate: No, it definitely did.
Rob: I thought we might get something else.
Nate: I thought there'd be more to it than what it was.
Rob: Yes, I agree with that. But I didn't hate it. I thought it was pretty good. I thought the direction and the acting was good.
Nate: Yeah. I thought Nicole Kidman was good. Not the best she's ever been or anything or like that. I thought Colin Farrell was good. I thought all the performances were just good. For a movie like this, what would've saved it were the performances. So maybe the story isn't all that good, but the performances were incredible. You know, that's where it could have had me. But the performances were just kind of surface-level. They were fine. There was nothing really special about them.
Rob: I'd agree with that. 

#2 War Machine


Nate: My number two is... I don't know if you ever ended up seeing this movie, but it's a Netflix original film, War Machine. Did you end up seeing it?
Rob: I watched the first two minutes, and then I forgot about it.
Nate: So, I've heard a lot of people try to defend this movie. They try to tell me "Oh, well it's satire! It's a satirical movie. So you didn't understand it! You didn't get what they were going for." They were just going for a sh*tty movie. I'm sorry, but that's just what it is. War Machine, you have Brad Pitt, who is a great actor, but his character is so ridiculous and so over-the-top in this, that it's unbearable. It gets annoying. His voice is just ridiculous. His mannerisms are just too eccentric. It's similar to what I thought about Johnny Depp in the last Pirates movie, but this is the first time I'm seeing this character, and he already annoys me. There was no clear driving narrative. It wasn't like something was set up in the beginning, that [the characters] were going to do and had to follow through with. There was no story. It was just following these characters throughout this two hour movie. So the story wasn't going anywhere. And there were so many of these really strange-- it's hard to explain, you just have to see it-- these strange comedic moments where, at the very end of this really serious scene, someone will make the most absurd comedic joke that's not even funny. But it's just outlandish. Someone will like fart or something, and the scene will end, and it makes no sense. It felt like it was spoof movie kind of humor, but it wasn't funny. It had no place. It completely disrupted the tone, and I have no idea why these were in there. It made no sense to me. Again, it's hard to explain; you just have to see it. But these comedic moments... in quotations, "comedic"... were so strange and out of left field, and it happened in every scene, and it made no sense as to why it was happening... it was just confusing. I turned off the movie about 3/4 of the way through because I had seen enough of it that I could write a review, and I didn't want to keep watching a movie that I did not give a sh*t about, so I turned it off. Netflix so far... you watched Okja, right?
Rob: Yeah, I loved it. 
Nate: Yeah, I watched the first twenty minutes of it, and then I had to do something, and I haven't gotten back to it since. So Okja aside, Netflix has not hit it out of the park for me yet. The Discovery, I thought, was bland. And then I hated this movie.
Rob: You've got to watch the new one, To the Bone.
Nate: Did you watch it yet?
Rob: I did. It's great. I liked it a lot.
Nate: I know, I want to watch it. So you didn't see War Machine, but I know you were really looking forward to it. 
Rob: Yeah, I was, but then I kind of forgot about it. Now I don't really care to go back and watch it.
Nate: Well, it's funny that you turned it off after two minutes, because I think those first two or three minutes are the best part of the entire movie. They have the music and the montage...
Rob: I started watching it, but I was tired, so I decided to go to bed instead of trying to watch it. 
Nate: I thought that was funny because the first two or three minutes, I was watching and thought "Woah, this is great! This could be one of the best of the year." And then when it actually got into the movie, I was like "What the f*ck am I watching?" [Read our review for War Machine here]

Nate: So those are my #3 and #2. What're your #3 and #2?

Rob's #3-2

#3 Rough Night


Rob: My number three is a movie that I wasn't excited for at first, but then when I started watching more of the trailers, and I started watching this show called Broad City with Ilana Glazer. I find that show absolutely hysterical. And I found out that the creators and writers of that show are all involved with Rough Night. So I went into the movie pretty excited, and it started off pretty funny. But the middle was just an absolute mess. It kind of took the route of all these other comedies now. It was kind of like Office Christmas Party where, do you remember when they had all these action set pieces at the end of the movie? 
Nate: Yeah.
Rob: And they don't mesh well with this kind of slapstick comedy. It just throws me off, and I don't find it funny or anything. That girl Jillian Bell... she needs to stop. I can't stand her. 
Nate: I hate her in pretty much everything she's in. 
Rob: She was awful in this movie. Awful in Office Christmas Party. I didn't like her in Fist Fight.
Nate: I found the most tolerable in Fist Fight, but I didn't like her. 
Rob: I didn't mind her in 22 Jump Street or The Night Before. But everything other than that she was terrible in.
Nate: Oh, I thought she was bad in 22 Jump Street. That's when I first saw how bad she was. And then she kept popping up in everything. She's like in everything now, and she's just terrible.
Rob: I know. It needs to stop. And another thing... do you know who Ilana Glazer is?
Nate: I feel like I know her, but I don't recognize the name. 
Rob: She was in this movie, and she's the star of Broad City. They barely even used her to her strength [in Rough Night]. I felt like she barely had any lines, and she's really, really funny. They didn't do anything with her. But I will give a shout out to Kate McKinnon. This was the first thing, SNL or anything, that I've seen her in that I've enjoyed her in.
Nate: I like her a lot on SNL, but I haven't liked her in movies. Just because every time she's in a movie, she plays an SNL sketch character. That kind of sketch comedy, where you're playing a really outlandish character, works for a four or five minute sketch, but I don't think it works for a two hour movie. For me at least, I think that's the problem with her transition into movies, because she can't get out of that sketch comedy mindset. I never saw Rough Night, but I heard from a lot of people that this was one of the first times she actually really shined in a movie. 
Rob: I would say she was still an SNL character, but they gave her more backstory. First of all, the lines she said were pretty funny, and they also gave her a good relationship with the rest of the girls. So her comedy worked, and I also actually cared about her character. And I thought that's why she worked. But I still thought she was playing an SNL character. I mean, she played an Australian woman, and she's obviously not Australian. 
Nate: She needs either an agent or a director to tell her to just play a movie character, not an SNL character. Because she's incredibly talented. She's an incredibly talented actress and comedian, and she has so much potential. Maybe when she leaves SNL, and actually commits to doing movies, instead of doing movies on the side, maybe then she'll actually really shine. But who knows?
Rob: Yeah, like Kristen Wiig. She can have the same kind of career as her.
Nate: Because Kristen Wiig, she's incredibly on SNL, but she's also incredible in movies because she's not playing SNL characters. She's playing real movie characters, and she's fantastic. 
Rob: Exactly.
Nate: So... who knows? Maybe Kate McKinnon doesn't like doing movies, and she wants to keep doing SNL
Rob: She was awful in Masterminds.
Nate: I can imagine. 
Rob: Oh my God!
Nate: And I did not like her in Ghostbusters at all.
Rob: No, she wasn't good in that either. 

#2 xXx: Return of Xander Cage


Rob: My number two is... I thought this movie would be on your list. Or maybe it is, and it's your number one. xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Nate: Yeah, that's not my number one. 
Rob: I didn't find it exciting. The trailers made it seem like this kind of Fast and Furious type movie, but it didn't have the same charm as those movies. I didn't care about any of the characters, like I do in Fast and Furious. I thought the action was all too CGI-heavy. I hate that Vin Diesel is like "Oh, I can get all these women". Dude, you're ugly. You're not the most in-shape guy. 
Nate: He's pretty ripped, though. 
Rob: I don't know about that.
Nate: He could kick your ass.
Rob: Yeah, obviously he could kick my ass! But when he's in the Fast and Furious movies when he's kicking Dwayne Johnson's ass-- like, that makes no sense!
Nate: No, I agree. The Rock would destroy him. 
Rob: I can't stand how, in the Fast and Furious movies, he started off the first one just as a guy on the street, but now he's like the world's most deadly assassin! 
Nate: I know, that part's a little ridiculous. For me, with xXx, I was actually pretty excited for it because of the trailers. When I watched them, I thought it was going to just be an absolutely stupid, completely ridiculously movie but would be so much fun. And I was really excited for it. And remember when the Rotten Tomatoes scores first came out, it had like a 90% or something, for like five minutes?
Rob: Yeah, I remember that.
Nate: And then it plummeted. I don't know. I saw it. It was bad; it wasn't a good movie. But I don't think, at least when I list off my worst films of the year, I feel like I had a worse reaction to those movies than I did with xXx. Probably, if I had a sixth film, it would be that one. It was just barely edged out by the other ones. 
Rob: And one of the only good scenes in the movie... and you may consider this a spoiler, but it's really not because they showed it in the trailer like the day before the movie came out... but Ice Cube makes an appearance at the end. Maybe I would have thought that was a little bit cool if they hadn't shown me it on YouTube two days before. 
Nate: Yeah, I didn't see that. I don't think I saw that. So when he popped up, I thought it was sick. 
Rob: And now they're thinking about doing another one, right?
Nate: Yeah, well, because this one actually made a ton of money overseas. 
Rob: Jesus Christ.
Nate: The only reason I would see another one was if they did it straight up as Vin Diesel and Ice Cube teaming up, like a buddy cop movie but with them. If they did that, I would go see it. But any other xXx movie they put out I'm not going to go see. 
Rob: I just don't think it would be any good. But who knows? [Read our review for xXx: Return of Xander Cage here]

Nate's #1 47 Meters Down


Nate: Okay, now we're into our number ones, and I think you'll disagree with this one a little bit. 
Rob: Oh, I know what you're talking about now.
Nate: 47 Meters Down! This movie is... keep in mind, this movie was originally made to be a straight to home video thing because the people who made it had zero confidence in it. Then, a new distributor picked it up, and after The Shallows did well, they thought "Hey, people like shark movies. Let's put this in theaters, and we can make a quick dollar off of it." So they put it in theaters, and it actually made some money, so smart of them. 
Rob: Did it pay off?
Nate: What do you mean did it pay off?
Rob: It made way more money than it would have if they just put it out on VOD.
Nate: No, I just said. I said that was smart of them to do. That was a good job. What I'm saying is that all of that shows the confidence of the people who made the movie had in this film, that they didn't even think it was worthy of being in theaters. It was smart of them to put it into theaters, but I'm saying the quality of the movie is not the quality of a theatrical movie. It feels like a film off the SyFy Channel. That's what it felt like to me. But when they make Sharknado, they're making those purposely to be bad. This one felt like they made a Sharknado-level movie, but they actually tried to make a good movie, and it just completely failed. The CGI of the sharks is just terrible. The performances are awful. I think this movie has the worst dialogue of any movie this year. The story is just so bad. I was losing my mind watching this movie. I left and used the bathroom probably like three or four times, just to get out of the theater, because I could not stand being in there watching this anymore. It was just nonsense. Whereas like The Shallows was really good because of the direction, and because they didn't go in the direction that 47 Meters Down did. It was just pointless sh*t of a movie. It was just terrible. I know you enjoyed it, and I'll let you defend it, but I thought this was complete nonsense, and probably, if I saw Transformers, I'd say Transformers was the worse than this. But for me right now, with me being as selective as I am with what movies I see, I doubt there's going to be a movie that comes out this year that I hate more than 47 Meters Down. And I hope there isn't, because that would mean I saw a terrible movie.
Rob: I'll say about 47 Meters Down... I thought it was great Saturday night creature feature. It was a fun movie to see with a bunch of guys after a long day, and I was in a good mood. Yeah, the effects weren't the best. But I thought it was a pretty good script at the end, and it made me go "Wow, that was cool." I was entertained by it. Was it one of the best movies [of the year]? No. Was it better than The Shallows? No. But I took it for what it was. And it was cliche, but they did it in a way that was somewhat enjoyable and I had a good time watching it. 
Nate: Dear God, I hope this movie isn't dethroned as my worst movie of the year. I really hope that, at the end of the year, I get to say 47 Meters Down is still my worst movie of the year. [Read our review for 47 Meters Down here]

Nate: Anyways, what's your number one?

Rob's #1 Transformers: The Last Knight


Rob: Okay. It was June 20th. It was about 6 o'clock. Me and my friends Cole and Randy were together out when my other friend, Jaden, asked "Oh, would you like to hang out?". We said "No, no, we're going to see Transformers." One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I went in... all I wanted to see was Optimus Prime beat the crap out of the other robots. What I got was two and a half hours of some of the worst comedy ever, like ever! I laughed like once or twice! The dialogue in this movie is absolutely horrendous, and not funny at all! I think this was Mark Wahlberg's worst performance ever. He was just there for the paycheck. All the f*cking subplots were outrageously stupid! And we didn't even see Optimus Prime until the last thirty minutes of the f*cking movie! Jesus Christ! All I wanted was a good time, and I got nothing! I got bitch-slapped in the face, that's what I got! 
Nate: I remember, leading up to Transformers, you were going on "Man, this is going to be awesome! I'm going to get my popcorn, I'm going to get an ICEE, I'm going to sit down and see some Transformers fighting, I'm going to see some CGI awesomeness, I can't wait!"
Rob: There was no Transformers fighting until the last twenty minutes! 
Nate: I will say, what were you expecting? Because every other [Transformers] movie... except for the first one, I've heard good things about the first one... two, three, and four were exact same thing!
Rob: The second and third one-- the dialogue was pretty crappy too, but at least there were a lot of Transformers fighting, so that I could watch it and say "Oh, that was pretty cool". The Transformers were pretty much side characters in this movie! You know who the last knight was?
Nate: Who? [Pause] Spoil it!
Rob: I don't give a f*ck! Yeah, you who it was? It was Mark Wahlberg! 
Nate: Oh, okay! That's bullsh*t!
Rob: There's this metal thing attached to his arm, that pretty much gave him a sword on his arm, and he basically defends Bumblebee from Optimus Prime while he's trying to kill them. 
Nate: This is spoilers, but I don't really care. I don't think anyone cares. I just want to know: did they reveal what made Optimus Prime evil?
Rob: Yeah. I don't know if you remember from the trailers, but there was like this lady robot thing that was saying "Oh, I created you." She pretty much persuaded Optimus that, the only way for his home planet to survive was to kill Earth. It's pretty much the plot of every Transformers movie, but whatever. And you want to know how he snapped out of his hypnosis, or whatever?
Nate: How?
Rob: Bumblebee got his real voice back, he spoke in his real voice, and that snapped Optimus Prime out of it. 
Nate: So the power of talking saved the world? 
Rob: Yes.
Nate: [laughs
Rob: It's so f*cking stupid.
Nate: F*cking Michael Bay...
Rob: I like his movies other than the Transformers
Nate: He literally does these to get a new addition to his house every time. 
Rob: I mean, honestly, can you blame him though? If they were offering me this much money to do these movies, I'd take it. 
Nate: I would try a little bit, though. I wouldn't just sit in my trailer and let the intern direct the scene. You know what I mean? He literally lets the cinematographer set up the camera, he lets everyone set up all the stuff, and then he'll yell action and let whatever happens happen. I don't think he gives Mark Wahlberg notes. I think they just film it a few times and say "Okay, cut. We're done" 
Rob: I will say, when it comes to cinematography and visual effects... it's the only redeemable quality of this movie. The movie does look fantastic, I will say that. But everything else, what's spoken out of these characters' mouths, is complete and utter garbage. 
Nate: Yeah, I stayed the hell away from this movie, because I knew it was going to be complete sh*t.
Rob: I will not see the next one unless it has good reviews.
Nate: Will you see the one directed by Travis Knight, the Bumblebee movie? 
Rob: If it has good reviews, I will see it. If it doesn't, I'll stay away. 
Nate: The only reasons I would see that is 1) because of Travis Knight, 2) because I like the cast members they have so far. I love Hailee Steinfeld. And 3) they said they're going in an Iron Giant kind of way, which I think that's how you do a Transformers movie. It's taking place in like the 80's. Everything I've heard about this movie... I'm not a Transformers fan at all. I didn't watch the cartoons. I didn't really do any of that, so I don't have any real attachment [to the property]. But from everything I've heard about this Bumblebee spin-off that they're doing, it sounds like that's the direction that you would have a Transformers movie take. So I like the people behind it, I like the direction they're going in. So this the first Transformers movie where you have my attention, whereas the other ones I never cared to go see. So, who knows? Maybe they succeed with this one, and then they realize "Oh, if we stay away from Michael Bay with Transformers, we can actually have good movies." And maybe they'll turn it around, but who knows at this point.
Rob: I'm honestly not a fan of this whole Iron Giant thing. What I think they need to do is... you know why the Planet of the Apes new franchise works? 
Nate; Why?
Rob: It's because the main focus in those movies is the apes, not the humans. The humans are on the side. They have a presence in the movie, but the movie is focused on Caesar and the apes. These Transformers movies should be focused on Optimus Prime and the Autobots. That's what the main focus of the movie should be. It should not be on Earth. It should be on Krypton or wherever the hell their planet is! There should be no stupid human characters involved, really!
Nate: I can see that. 
Rob: If the people doing the Apes movies are done for now, they should hop over to Paramount and help the Transformers. I'd like to see Matt Reeves do it.
Nate: Yeah, this movie, The Last Knight, it's not doing nearly as well as the other ones.
Rob: I think it only made about $500 million.
Nate: What I read is that it opened in China and... China is the biggest market for these Transformers movies. It did really good opening weekend, and then the following weekend it had like a 90% drop or something crazy, like a monumental drop. 
Rob: Well I heard the last movie went to China, and China was a big part of the movie. This movie has nothing to do with China at all. 
Nate: Yeah. They're literally making these movies tailor-made for foreign markets because they know nobody will see them domestically, which I don't think making a movie with foreign markets in mind is a bad thing. But the way they're doing it is bad just because they know no money domestically, so they're making these movies specifically for overseas because that's the only place people will go see them. And now, overseas, people aren't going to go see them. So maybe, with the... I wouldn't say this movie failed, but it did not do nearly what they thought it was going to do. Maybe the somewhat failure of this one, paired with the hopeful success of the Bumblebee spin-off, with all the new elements and the new direction... those two paired together will hopefully mean that Paramount will realize "Hey, Michael Bay isn't doing anything. He shouldn't do these anymore. We need to go in a new direction". So, who knows?
Rob: Yeah, this movie cost $290 million to make...
Nate: Wait, $290??
Rob: Yes. And that's just the production budget. 
Nate: Wow, well they probably needed like $450 to break even. So if it's only made $500 million, then that is not at all what they thought they were going to get.
Rob: Yeah, and they marketed this movie a ton too. 
Nate: Wow. So Paramount must not be happy. 
Rob: They need to just get rid of Mark Wahlberg and all that crap. Get rid of Michael Bay. Get a team like the team that's working on Planet of the Apes.
Nate: Well, remember they had writer's room! Remember they had all those fantastic writers sit down. They were there for months, and what did they come up with? "Oh, we're going to do Transformers 5 with Michael Bay. We're going to do an animated movie. And that's it." 
Rob: Remember those scenes with King Arthur? That was only about a minute of the movie.
Nate: Oh, let me guess! There's no time travel. They were just showing the Excalibur sword through time.
Rob: In medieval times, you see Merlin or whoever, I don't really know, grab a Transformer and the Transformer gives him a sword to defeat his rivals. 
Nate: Is it the Excalibur sword, from King Arthur?
Rob: Yeah, I think so. It's the sword that ends up becoming Mark Wahlberg's arm. 
Nate: Okay, well I think we should cut it right there. So that's our worst three of the year. Somehow our worst three was longer than our top five. Like I said, if you haven't checked out the top five, go check it out. I'd like to thank Rob for joining me for this. And we'll see you guys later. 


What do you think? Do you agree with our picks? What are your worst movies of the year so far? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. 

Written by: Nate and Rob
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